As much as I loved the familarty of my house one day i would have to let it go, and even now I was facing the chance of losing one parent. When I was little i always hoped to die at the same time as my parents so that I wouldn't have to feel the loss of my parents from then I had always thought that the only way I was going to lose a parent was through death but its obvious that losing something or someone happens everyday not just in death. For one thing, my parents can't bare to even stay in the same room and I can tell that if they had a chance they would have ended the marriage a long time ago but at my begging I had stretched it out for 4 months. But the toll it was taking on my mom was so evident on her face and attitude that I decided to let her go. Now and days I spent hours on homework and working to avoid my father as much as I could. I couldn't help blaming my parents for the miscible time I was having right now, they were adults why couldn't they just let it go and move on, and since I haven't even really fallen in love yet I don't think i have the right to tell them what to do.
Almost everyday i wake up wishing that the 2 years left of my high school life could go by faster so that i could escape the life i had, maybe without the constant codling of my father i would finally learn to become independent. Of course the only way i see to go to college without any help from my parents was to join the military and so on. The funny thing is that what i dread the most when i think about leaving home is deserting my dog. Pets are funny that way, they demand so little from us and yet even when we hurt them they still love you to death. Which is why its so easy to love them, i was going to really miss her but it wasn't like i could take her with me.
A year later i realized that i should have protected my heart more carefully. Refusing to fall in love and ignoring love is a whole different thing and i should have realized that years ago and now it was too late.
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